The Adventure

 

                It was the summer of 2005 so naturally my parents decided that we were going to take a five-week trip across the United States…Before my parents began to fight, before everything happened and when everything was awesome.

My newly born sister was only one, and might I add had an extremely defined Mohawk of hair on her head.  My brothers were six and eight, and  I was nine.  Even though this trip was it seems so long ago, I remember every second.  Everything we did stuck with me, and I don’t remember too much from before this time.  But, this in particular was not a vacation.

It was an adventure…

 

                We first rented an RV and started from New York, we went all the way to Colorado, spending nights in RV parks.  I can’t even explain how fun it was.  When we got to Colorado we stayed with my mom’s brother and his sons.  I remember I would always get scared when I would hear the tornado warning siren that went off almost every day.  We stayed here for a few days and went on a hike on sandy territory; I don’t remember exactly what it was.  I remember going to a rodeo and picking out a cowgirl shirt that I could wear.  As we watched they asked for volunteers to play with a baby bull.  Of course I decided to go and me and a few other children put on our boots and ran around trying to grab the flag that was attached to him.  We also dug for dinosaur bones, which was definitely one of my favorite things that we did.  We would wake up early and drive to the site where it was just our family and the man who owned the site.  We dug until lunch then he would make us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and we’d go back to digging.  The coolest part was…

…We actually found dinosaur bones.

 

                We did this every day when we were there.  Then we traveled back going through Montana ending in South Dakota where I got to see four of the greatest presidents’ faces carved into the mountainside.  Truly captivating how real they look.  Of course there was the normal man, dressed up as Abraham Lincoln, and me smiling from excitement that I got to meet a president.

                This trip was just amazing.  My words can’t describe all of it, just because it was so long and otherworldly.  And I just realized recently how this can never happen again.  My parents can never be in love, we can never have this “perfect family” again.  Looking back on this experience it simply made me sad.  I went over it in my head and realized that memories can completely change us.  I recalled the experiences and my old family that I wish every day to get back, even though I know it doesn’t help anything.  Even if it can never happen again I’m glad I got to have it once.  I know I will never forget it because it was the longest trip we ever had, and we just went where it took us, nothing too planned. 

A road to be traveled once and to never be traveled again…

Getting it Wrong

I was homeschooled until the middle of sixth grade when my mom decided she wanted me to go to a real school.  Let's just say I wasn't the cool kid that everyone rushed to be friends with.  This one girl absolutely hated me and called me the "devil's spawn" and I had no idea why.  I know that I wasn't the devil's spawn because I was nice to people.  Everyone just already had their little groups.  I was just trying to join in.  Now, since this girl hated me right off the bat, we didn't get along no matter how hard I tried.  We finally became friends in seventh grade, and we were getting along great.  This made me so happy because one of my least favorite things is the feeling I get when people don't like me.  We were attached at the hip for two years.  She opened up to me about some things that she had never told anyone, including her family issues and anxiety.  Now she could never sleep at my house because of the anxiety she got in others peoples houses, and often when she tried would have to get picked up at my house late.  Even though this happened, she was such an awesome friend, and changed my life.  One day, I accidentally said something about her anxiety to two guys in our grade.  She freaked out at my and didn't talk to me for weeks.  I had lost my best friend, and at the time, I thought it could be forever.  I felt so bad and I couldn't take back what I had done, even though it was an accident.  This was such a big mistake and it cost our friendship going back to what it had been before.  Now we've become closer.  It was hard when we went to different high schools, but we've managed to stay really close, and have definitely gotten a lot closer this year.  This failure really hurt me, because I hate disappointing people.  But this one actually turned out OK in the end, which is good, because I don't know what I would have done without her.

The Young Old: my transition to adulthood too soon

              In this generation, most children grow up too fast, usually starting at the age of twelve.  However, it was not the way that I was forced to.  I know personally that my mom leaving for a month extremely impacted my life, in part both in a good way and a not so good way.  The fact that I let this episode change me I see more as a failure.  Not that I am disappointed at how I turned out after all of it, but I think sometimes I am more worried than I should be about everything, and it is possible that this had to do with this experience.  In addition, once my mom came back, she always seemed to be mad at me because I would act like the mom without meaning too and she wanted everything to be like she never left.  This impacted our relationship drastically for years, until last year.  I wish I had been closer to my mom through those years, and I wish that I could be a bit less worried about everything.  Between the ages of twelve and fourteen I was consumed by this new me.  Now I'm able to be more fun-loving, which I am really happy about.  Overall through this look at adulthood I became mature and responsible, but I think I could have lived out a few more years in childhood.  Then high school happened...

The Adirondacks<-----link

The Cabin in the Woods



My place where I feel at peace is at my dad's family's cabin in the heart of the Adirondacks  that sits between the first and the third tallest mountains in New York State.  Sitting a ways from a lake, the cabin and kitchen, made of all logs, with no electricity is just a place to escape.  On summer mornings, we get up early and take canoes out onto the lake, drifting through the morning mist hearing the loons on the water.  This place means so much to me since I've been going there my whole life.  The sad thing is, it's changing all the time.  Just this past year, cell towers were installed in the Adirondacks after they never had had them.  This changed the whole feeling of the place and the escape that it was capable of.  However, this place still is able to calm me just thinking about the solitude.  I remember one time we went there and decided to go out on the lake once it got really really dark.  My brother went out in the kayak that we had brought up, but my dad, my other brother, my little sister and I took a canoe.  One of the best feelings I've ever experienced is laying down on my back and just seeing a clear sky full of stars to infinity.  Especially on the lake, you can look up and only see the navy sky as it stretches out connecting me to the mountains and to the universe in one, and it feels like I'm floating in the sky.  This cabin on the lake that I have the privaledge to experience gives me solace, and I am completely at peace, my mind blank, and a part of everything around me.

 

The old imagination

By Layla Stover

 

When I was younger my parents always read to me every night before bed, then to my siblings.  This was one of my favorite books that I can remember. The pictures took my imagination on a wild ride travelling to a world never imagined. Not only that, but this story went leaps and bounds beyond reality to where a childs mind can explore.  Reading it today, I would think "wow this can't happen," but as a kid we take in the stories and let our imagination run wild.  This book makes me think about how there are so many people that don't have what they need, like food.  This story, as food falls from the sky, people catch it with smiling faces as the phenomenon continues.  It makes me think about what if this happened to us.  How it would benefit everyone.  My memory with reading this book is amazing.  The simple black and white drawings that show the wide-eyed excitement and awe of all the people.  Looking back on it, I think How could I ever let my imagine soak in this absurd story.  But, in reality, it's just a fantasy, and dreaming of or imagining other worlds can relieve us for a short time from the hurtful, plain, and  unfair world that we all live in.  This book brings me back to my childhood and my old imagination that we so often forget about, but subconciously long to revive.